The Marriage of my Dreams

As a child I can remember contemplating what my future would look like.  I dreamt big dreams about my life, and pictured myself as a doctor or lawyer.  I used to tell my Grandmother that I would one day make enough money to buy not only myself a home, but her a home too.  It wouldn’t be just any house either, it would be a large white home with shutters and a white picket-fence.  

A husband and children were also always part of my dream come true.  We would have the grandest of weddings.  He would be even more successful than I and we would both somehow maintain these huge careers while raising perfect children.  We would always be on vacation and weekends would be filled with birthday parties and family events.  Yes, I dreamt big Barbie dreamhouse types of dreams.  Sadly, these dreams would not be my reality.

Marriage is No Fairy-Tale

As many of you know, reality slams into you like a ton of bricks.  Your ideals that you hold as a youth can be painfully erased because sin becomes the inkblot in life.  It covers those dreams in overflowing darkness.  There is pain, heartbreak, and sorrow that riddles through the lines, redefining dreams and shattering hope.  This is inevitable because we are all sinful and fall short from the glorious standard that God sets for us.  We are broken people in need of a Savior.

The dismantling of our illusion about perfect marriage is necessary in all it’s roughness.  God rewrites our dreams.  He shows us those dreams weren’t really dreams at all, but mirages.

Reality Sets In

My Husband and I have been married for nearly nineteen years (and have been together for almost twenty-three years).  Not one of those formative years were easy, because unfortunately our messy hearts made it much more difficult than God had intended.  We started off as a teenage couple in sin.  We had a child out of wedlock and lived together unmarried for a short time.

In the beginning stages I was quite resentful because my life was not how I had envisioned it would be.  This led to tiresome fights and trying to place blame when I was the sole culprit of my circumstances.  My Husband was just as frustrated as I was.

This was selfishness and it ran rampant in our marriage.

There were ups, downs, and in-betweens but God has remained a constant during every moment leading us up to this point.  He used the good to remind us to be thankful and the bad to keep Him at the forefront of our hearts.  

Changed Hearts

As my Husband and I have grown in the Lord our perception has undoubtedly been changed.

Once the Lord started altering each of our hearts, the resentment turned to gratitude and the blame turned to grace.  We stopped fighting against each other, and started working together as a team that God ordained.

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.  The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
2 Corinthians 5:17  NLT

After time, we began to see how our wrong choices were turned around used for the good of His Kingdom; through our testimony, through our unwavering love for one another, and through our perseverance.  Our affections for each other soared to heights that we never could have imagined.

Dream Better Dreams

The Lord has showed me over the years that dream come trues aren’t found in what we own or how we obtain it.  As our hearts change and become more Christlike, the old childhood dreams fade away and reveal a hope and light so permeating that what we once sought turns to dust.

What does it matter if we don’t have the riches of the world? We have the Lord and we have each other Share on X

Sometimes, as married couples you can be distracted by what the world says the standard of a dream life is.  You can start beating yourself up when you don’t have the nice car or a home of your own.  Maybe your career isn’t on the path that you wanted it to be.  The thing is, where do those things fit in for God’s plan in your life?  Are you seeking His will first, or your own?

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal.  Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.  Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”
Matthew 6:19-21  NLT

Dreams Change

Take it from someone who knows, seeking your own way before seeking God’s will leads to frustration and discontentment.  Nothing good can come from self-centeredness in marriage or in a life committed to serving an illusion.  Not even pretending to be a perfect couple will fix the disunity between you and your Husband.  God has to be front and center in each of your lives as a married couple so that you will be better equipped to serve one another.  

That means putting off the old self and embracing your new life with Christ.  A life where hard work is rewarded and and you find true contentment for all you have been blessed with.  

“Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.  If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.  But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.”
Luke 9:23-24  NLT

As a wife, your dream come trues will be fulfilled in heartfelt prayers for your Husband and children.  Prayers to become the wife God intended for you to be; A wife who builds her home up, instead of tearing it down with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1).

Dreams Can Come True

Contentment with what you have and who you share it with is the true dream come true.  Be happy with knowing that the good in your life is only a glimpse of what’s to come.  Our fairy-tale awaits in Heaven, and salvation is a promise that cannot be stolen.  Fairy-tale romance is possible when two people love the Lord more than they love themselves.  He’s the Prince of Peace we’ve been looking for, our Knight in shining armor.

Yours in Christ,

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