How God Helped Us To Defy The Odds In Marriage

My marriage started off in less than ideal circumstances. I met my husband when I was barely 16 years old while we were both (unknowingly) newly saved. Neither one of us were living a life surrendered to Christ and we were barely discovering who we were, and who we wanted to be as Christian adults. That’s when love took over and temptation got the best of us. The odds were suddenly against us.

Love turned into lust which led to me getting pregnant at the age of 17. There was no doubt in my mind that we loved each other but suddenly we were both thrust into a fearful reality that was full of unanswered questions.

We had suddenly taken the reigns in our lives and veered off course. Both of our parents were not only disappointed, but hurt that we had inadvertently made a mess of our future. We also knew deep down that we were about to live out the consequences of our foolish choice of deciding to have sex while unmarried.

Taking Matters Into Our Own Hands

Our choices got even more foolish as we decided that we would live together after I graduated High School and raise our baby while unwed. Looking back and remembering those days, I can vividly recall that God’s hand was upon us even while living in disobedience.

He showed up through the prayers of my mother and us continuing to go to Church to receive biblical counsel from elders in the Church.

Hearing from God not only brought conviction to our hearts, but a yearning to get right with Him.

Our mutual convictions led to us having a small, intimate wedding ceremony within 2 years of having our son. There wasn’t an elaborate wedding but our vows were sacred and heartfelt. I remember the tears flowing from my eyes as relief overwhelmed me over the joy of being one with my husband for the rest of my life and taking a step towards obedience in the Lord. I knew in my heart that Anthony was the man that God wanted for me.

Beating the Odds in Marriage

As our union was in it’s formative years I was keenly aware that the odds weren’t in our favor. Several of my friends were also starting families just to end up as single parents a short time later. I even remember telling one of my close friends that I didn’t want to have more than one child because I didn’t want to be another statistic. I had read somewhere that teen mothers usually have another child within two years of their first child.

However, things shifted as we both sought the Lord in our relationship.

Our marriage began to thrive and we were blessed in ways that held no explanation other than God’s grace.

As we grew in the Lord, others around us began to falter in the world.

As I heard about one family after another that had split it broke my heart. It also caused me to fear because I had started on the same path they did. I envisioned my marriage ending as theirs did.

There was one difference that could not be denied. Anthony and I were both seeking the Lord and growing in Him.

I knew deep down that my relationship was thriving not because of anything we did, but by the Grace of God. There simply wasn’t any other explanation. Statistics had predicted that we should have ended before we even started. Relatives and friends had spoken death over our relationship and expressed their doubts openly. Yet, God kept us going. He kept us persevering. So much so, that the fear of failure wained and disappeared altogether as time progressed.

As our spiritual walk deepened, so did our love and commitment to one another. However, our actions resulted in us living out the consequences of our sins. Because we chose to live in disobedience instead of honoring the covenant of marriage, we have had to work twice as hard to overcome.

We Are Overcomers

Many years later we are still together. That teen couple who started off on the wrong foot are now attributing our long-standing marriage to His glory.

We are certainly not out of the clear and I don’t share this with you to make it seem as if we have arrived.

Marriage is work.

Even when you are both walking with the Lord your marriage is still susceptible to attack and vulnerable to the same temptations as anyone else. It takes commitment, perseverance, and a lot of forgiveness to withstand the fiery darts that come your way. We pray continuously that we seek Him first in our marriage and cherish each other as He commands.

I share the details about the beginning of my marriage to reveal that God is in the business of redemption. He can take a story (like ours) that has no hope and turn it around to be used as a testimony. That’s what our marriage is…a testimony of His goodness.

While our marriage has overcome much, we are still in prayer about what lies ahead.

It would be silly and presumptuous to think that we are in the clear simply because we’ve made it this far. We have been married for 20 years in July and each one of those years has been not only joyous but they’ve also encompassed painstaking trials.

All marriages do. But marriages that started off like ours don’t usually make it.

God is able to turn our messes into His message within marriage. Share on X

How To Overcome in Marriage

The Lord revealed that there were many factors that would help us to conquer the flesh and die to ourselves over the years. That’s what marriage is…a ministry. A dedication to His work within your union. Over the years we came to realize that there were several areas that we had to be intentional about to keep our marriage alive and well.

• Keeping God First – We have to both be in our Word and praying persistently for each other or we are susceptible to suspicious thoughts and can easily start taking the difficulties in life out on each other. Keeping God at the center of our marriage keeps us accountable to Him. Praying together forges a tight bond.

• Respect – It’s imperative that we have covenant eyes and trust each other to keep our love sacred. That means respecting each other in various ways that included how we interact with the opposite sex, how we speak to each other, how we interact with each other in public, and where we are fixing our gazes.

• Intimacy – Making sure we are connecting on all different levels ensures that we were keeping our love alive and vibrant. Whether it be deep conversation or scheduling weekend getaways, they are important parts of staying united.

• Laughter – The power of God-given joy goes such a long way. When you can laugh about the hard stuff and giggle the hurt feelings away then you have conquered dark times in a promising way. Being able to laugh stuff off has kept us young at heart and free from many burdens.
  
  

My friend Melanie wrote a fantastic post called “Things Our Man Wants to Hear” that will give you valuable insight in what your own husband might want to hear from you. It’s so good!

God Defies the Odds Against Marriage

God is the Author and Finisher over our lives. He has the final say and can rewrite our stories to give us a hope and a future. He does more than we can think or imagine.

That’s what He did with my marriage. He turned our lives around and helped us to defeat the odds. He gave us more than what we could have ever imagined. You can actually read more about how we started in my guest post here.

The Lord can do the same thing for you and any situation you feel may be hopeless. He can and will make beauty from the ashes.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Ephesians 3:20 NLT

Today I’m featuring a post that I so deeply resonated with by Jennifer at Minding the Kings called “An Underdog Marriage“. She not only touches on how the Lord helped her marriage but also shares some interesting statistics about what matrimonial unions face today.

>>Click here to read the Featured Post<<